Cole recently signed up for Jiu Jitsu and finished his second class tonight. Here are things I've learned after observing parts of 2 classes and living with Cole for a week after his first class:
jiu jitsu is pretty cool
the bathrobe looking thing they wear is called a gi
boys love to punch, kick, and wrestle
a punch in the stomach hurts, even if it's from a 9 year old
Cole loves jiu jitsu. I'm pretty sure of this because after class he says "I love jiu jitsu!" and begs for me to let him punch me in the stomach. After the first class I asked him what he learned, and he talked about several things, including getting in a "horse stance" and shouting "HUH!!! while punching. He asked to punch me, and I thought, "he's nine years old and when I hold my breath and flex my abs they're reasonably firm, so what the heck". So Cole gets in his stance, knees bent, fists balled and at his waist, palms up. Tony Horton would have been proud of this horse stance. Still, I wasn't scared. He's 9, I outweigh him by probably 120 lbs, I'm holding my breath and flexing my reasonably firm abs, so there's nothing to fear.
So I tell him to go for it. He looks at my gut, looks up at me and says "are you sure?" Sure, I say, go for it. He then unleashes his 9 year old right fist and belts out a HUH!, and when he finished, his fist had gone through my abdominal muscles, intestines of the large and small variety, and either my stomach or spleen, not sure, and was scraping against my spine. Before I could get my breath and tell him to stop, his 9 year old left fist was nearing impact with my stomach. The result of his left was about the same as his right.
This 1-2 combination was more than I could handle in more ways than one. First - it really hurt, and I'm not keen on pain or a bruised stomach. Second, my pride was hurt because this was my 9 year old son. I'm getting older, but I like to think I'm still pretty tough, in decent shape...so how could he inflict this much pain on me? Gavin watched this and wanted to show that he was tougher than me, so he jumped in line for some punishment. Cole was glad to oblige. He got into his horse stance, expelled a HUH!, and buried his fist in Gavin's gut, which knocked Gavin to the floor. I think video of either of these things would have, at a minimum, gotten me some facetime on America's Funniest Home Videos, and it may have won me some money. Fair warning to any Tilley's or Jones's at the wedding - if Cole asks you if you want to see his horse stance, take 3 steps backward.
The first week of school is over now, and it went pretty well. I like school and the cycle of school ending, gradution, resting and regrouping, preparing for a new year, and then starting over. I enjoy my job. I just don't understand how when I work all day in the yard or at other physical activities, I end the day tired, worn out, but with a sense of accomplishment and ready for good rest. After a day at work I often come home feeling like my head has been in a blender. Why does thinking hurt my head so much? Do I think too hard? Is my brain not in good shape? I know my legs would be sore if I suddenly went and ran 10 miles, so is my head out of shape like that? My head never hurt when I was a youth. Now my head is a milk shake. Mystery of life.
Other mysteries to me:
Why kids say they don't like school, but are thrilled to come back after summer break.
Why my children are polite and respectful to every person they encounter but can't sit next to each other at dinner, in a car, or on the coach without arguing, name calling, and engaging in physical combat.
Why do people very rarely say what they really mean? Is it better to lie than to potentially hurt someone's feelings?
Why is Dr. Pepper making BBQ sauce? I saw it with my own eyes. I love Dr. Pepper. And I love BBQ sauce. But I don't need them together. Last I checked Ford and Chevy weren't trying to make my tennis shoes and Little Debbie isn't trying to sell me a New York Strip steak. I'm having trouble with the 23 delicious flavors of Dr. Pepper floating around in a bottle of BBQ sauce. Maybe I'm just not progressive enough. I'm sure people used to think Wal-Mart execs were stupid to consider selling groceries and that the average person would never have a want or need for a phone to carry around in their pocket, much less a phone with internet, navigation, camera, video camera, family physician, mechanic, personal chef, and nanny included. Now 95% of the students at my school (age 11-18) carry phones like that. Perhaps the leadership of Dr. Pepper is in fact the leadership of Dr. Pepper because they're a bunch of really smart people. But this seems like a stupid idea to me.
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